I lost another pound bringing the total to 7lbs now lost, I probably wont weigh myself again till Monday. Another win is that I made it 46 minutes on the treadmill today despite how tired I was it was a whole minute more than my goal which might not seem like much but for me it is a huge deal as I was so tired I literally felt like curling up on the end of the treadmill and sleeping. I miss food so much. That's not to say I'm not eating I am, I'm eating a lot just not the foods I'm used to. I'm used to gorging on candy and pizza and donuts and chips. Now I'm gorging on soup and yogurt and fruits and vegetables, I just miss the things I used to eat, I'm sure I always will. Now though when I look in the fridge I start to look for healthy things first instead of going straight for the junk.
When I started to get bigger and bigger it was a gradual thing which I think is partially why I kept eating so much for so long. I guess in my mind I thought the next morning after eating like an entire pizza and a box of donuts when I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "huh I don't look any bigger" I figured I wasn't gaining weight and when I started having to move the seat back in my car because my stomach was hitting the steering wheel making it hard for me to turn it I just said "well I probably got taller and my legs are longer that's why I have to sit farther away". Then one day I woke up and my favorite shirt didn't fit and the next week my pants wouldn't button, I went to the store and got new clothes all the while convincing myself that it was a growth spurt or that my clothes had shrunk. As I have said before I was lying to myself because I didn't want to face my addiction to food. Peoples can be addicted to alot of things and food is one of them although I don't think theres a food-aholics anonymous lol if there is I'm not aware of it. So here it is "Hi I'm Nikki and I'm a food-aholic".
I'm a sugar junkie, All I want is a bag of gummys or some chips. I kept telling myself I'm gonna start to lose weight just one more day of pizza or one more meal of donuts and candy and then tomorrow ill start losing weight but I never did and I kept getting bigger.
I'm losing weight now though and so far 8 days in and I haven't slipped yet, I keep expecting to but I haven't yet. My shirts are a little looser and sadly my boobs are a little smaller but this shows I am losing weight and I noticed there was two dips in my stomach where pockets of fat used to be. It can be done all this time I thought because I didn't see a difference by the third or fourth day that my diet wasn't working and then I would stop. Anyone starting out stick through the crappy days and seriously the better days will start soon. My body is basically detoxing from all the food drugs I put into it; my body is confused as hell, its like trying to teach a wild bear to ride a unicycle, hes never seen one before and hes never ridden one before so he gets frustrated and smacks you and tried to eat your face, that's how I feel when I make a plate of vegetable or grab a yogurt instead of a donut my body wants to rip my face off and smack someone. Rawr! If I can stick to eating healthier and exercising than anyone can because I'm the worlds biggest procrastinator and I give up easily when it comes to doing something I don't want to. So if I can do it than anyone can. Now go eat a carrot or something.
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