Lately I've been up and down and just generally a loon though that's not too different than how things regularly are. Ive lost a mediocre amount of weight, though I'm still trying to find a diet that works right for me, i tried vegetarian and was not a fan but can seemingly tolerate small amounts of meat and will be happy with more "vegetables" loll.
Sometimes I wish I could rent out my brain so people could feel and hear and see whats going on in there, I can never accurately describe it without sounding completely mental which in this great big world of awesomeness I could potentially be completely mental without actually knowing I'm completely mental ya know what I mean?
Ive come to realize that everyones a little broken and sometimes the most broken are the most put together on the outside or so it seems. Words,words,words. typety,type,type,type. Sorry just making sure you were still reading.
I really try to post things that mean something or that help others, if I truly wrote what went through my mind Im pretty sure id be locked up in a nice padded room lol but heres a glimpse. Sometimes when I get in a funk I have what I call "On the Edge moments" Where I lose all sense of myself and every molecule that was me is gone, the only thing remaining is every horrible thing I've ever called myself or been called along with every horrible emotion that was felt with what was said, washing over me wave after wave "you're not good enough" "you are shit" "you don't deserve to live" over and over till I'm drowning in it and theres nothing and nobody that can stop you and then at some point it stops and the "normal" feeling begins to return but the nagging feeling of when is that sickening roller coaster gonna come back and will I be able to stop it next time, will I be able to ride the waves until they simmer down for a time or will I let myself get lost, drown in it and never return?
Well hopefully that wasn't too much of a negative nancy spiel for ya, I know Y'all were hoping for more boobies but sadly only a few adorable pics of myself wearing clothing….meh
Oh and a picture of my dinner the other night and my adorable kitty
My dinner. Yum!
Pretty Kitty
As always if anyone wants to vent, talk about our feelings or whatever feel free to email if you aren't a complete psycho ill give ya my number to text for an even faster reply ha Email: nt68863@yahoo.com




