Its time for the salmon to spawn

I cant stop eating fish, all I've eaten for the past two weeks are tilapia fillets and tuna sandwiches and mostly drinking tea and water. I'm gonna turn into a fish soon. In addition to all the fish eating I've been painting a lot probably has to due with the fact that my local craft store had a huge sale on canvases and paint. P.S I'm almost out of paint but not canvases.

Currently I'm wearing a peel off face mask because I really like to try and pull it off in one piece, and I'm waiting for a mouse to defrost so I can feed my snake. Other than that life is pretty boring, but if you're inside my head its a different story. My brain is going faster than I can process. I wanna do everything at once but then forget what I wanted to do, then I'm tired, then I'm scared, then I feel invincible, then I'm scared again. So many feelings all at once, my body feels like every nerve is trying to go a different direction, like my skin could just fly off my body or something. I wanna be around people but at the same time I don't. Its an odd time to be my brain.

I am slowly falling in love with girl clothes, mostly dresses, I find having to wear more than like tights and a dress is just too much clothing, only thing I have to remember is not to sit with my legs spread like a ball player.  Well that's all I have now, anymore and I might just write an entire page of gibberish and numbers. for now here's a cute pic of my gecko

UPDATE: The face mask did not come off in one piece, this makes me slightly disappointed.

Today is not my day

 I decided to make myself post something because if I didn't I would just stop and never finish, I have a habit of doing that (not finishing things).
So I woke up this morning very confused and it took me a moment to figure out where I was, then I went to the gym and was doing well till my knee and hip starting hurting enough that I just couldn't push through the pain and had to stop. Then I came home and put a pan on the stove and while waiting for it to heat up I went outside to let the horses into the yard and forgot the pan was on the stove, luckily my aunt was in the kitchen and turned it off but just lately I haven't been "here". I've been spacing out a lot and cant remember hardly anything.

 I cant explain not posting other than I've just lacked motivation or drive to do much of anything. On the plus side I'm eating more vegan and vegetarian foods,I've discovered I have a love for veggie burgers haha who knew. Today is the first day that I've noticed some changes to my body, there are dips in my stomach where there was tight skin and just straight fat and that's gone now, I'll admit I fell off the wagon a bit and gained back the weight I had previously lost when I was taking the prescription weight loss pill, after I had to stop taking the medicine I turned to food again because I felt I had failed somehow when in all reality it was just the fact that my body and the meds didn't mix.

So the only bright spot of my day was seeing the little dips in my stomach and realizing that I was once again actually losing weight despite my self hate and thinking all those vegetables were giving me the shits for nothing, today just hasn't been my day. I'm really gonna try harder to post more often. I promise  I'm still here haha and now for a quick pic

and a cute pic of my pony