Hello? Vagina here, lets talk.

Give your vagina a voice. Your vagina's got a lot to say that you may not necessarily listen to. Lets start with this and hope it turns into something coherent. I'm never going to know (barring a sex change and even then I'm not sure) what it feels like for a penis to penetrate a vagina. I know I said penis, vagina and penetrate all in the same sentence its crazy I know but calm yo titties. Based off of my sex resume you're vagina is like a little version of you during sex some can be like "yeah dude that's awesome, shoo hop" or like "nah i don't like this shit, wtf is going on?" in the instances where its like "wtf is going on" you should speak up and say something because whoever is fucking you isn't a mind reader.

No reason to go to your friends after and be like "omg guuurrrll that sex with whats his face was awful" when really you just didn't say anything when you weren't comfortable or enjoying yourself, I've done it so I know it happens I'm not that weird.

Also a man is never going to know (barring a sex change and even then I don't know) what its like to have your vagina penetrated by a penis,  I know I said those silly words again. Y'all need to speak up during sex but I'm talking about speaking up for your(our) lady giblets at the moment though not your smelly penises men. basically just speak up during sex and quit being shy or thinking if you say something he's gonna stop and leave or some shit, yeah theres supposed to be weird bodily sounds its sex so stop feeling nervous about making fart fart sounds during sex. ooh I said sex too how freaked are you? Hey that rhymed by the way.

Listen to your vagina's ladies, don't go along with something that's not enjoyable its not fair to either person. This is an utterly ridiculous  and hilarious post but I wrote it at 3 in the morning and to be honest I thought it was gonna be horseshit and nonsense when I woke up later but its still funny and hilarious now. So enjoy! and speak up for your vagina's it'll be so much more awesome during sexy time for you, your vagina, the man or the woman deepening on whatever floats your goat i know i mentioned a man and woman scenario above but the talking vagina thing applies to almost all forms of sexual intercourse. Mostly this post is for the unsatisfied ladies I've talked to who don't speak up during sex when they don't like something.

Stop being a little bitch and say something. OK this is enough nonsense otherwise I'm gonna lose my mind, maybe its already gone. Penis Penis Penis, Vagina Vagina Vagina.

The end, see you all on my next mental break I guess.

The Reality of It All

                     







              DEATH IS INEVITABLE 

Her breath Smelled like Old Tacos and Whiskey

No I'm not dead. Its been awhile this is basically a post to let everyone know I'm not dead and i appreciate all my email pals who have been keeping in touch. updates go as follows I'm back to trying to lose weight again but still not really trying trying just eating better and cutting my sugar intake by about half, basically living on salads, pork and green tea and the occasional drunken midnight taco bell run.

 New hobbies include repeatedly playing the same two chords I learned on the ukulele the other night thanks to a friend who is not tone deaf and can tune things by ear.

 Bad things that happened, my beloved rats died within days of each other with the exception of my youngest Hodor.

Good things that happened. My colony of leopard geckos if giving me loads of fertile eggs so soon enough ill have the first ever baby Leos produced by me and ill get to raise them up from hatching's and see them mature and go on to have babies of their own and some will go to friends and that makes me very happy. I love my reptiles and I'm so happy with how things are going with all of them.

Other good things, reconnected with an old friend and got rid of some shitty useless friends and made amazing new non judgmental friends as well.

That's enough of an update unless y'all wanna know when my last menstrual cycle was (it was last week)
currently sitting at Panera watching a man hold a walkie talkie to his ear and look around suspiciously. maybe he's a really bad spy?


                   Adding some recent pics of the ponies and my attempts at photography

                       
                              Also I'm not donkey brained, I have a certificate that proves it see?

   As always if anyone feels the need to talk or vent or whatever feel free to email me at       nt68863@yahoo.com

UPDATE: really bad spy guy is still holding the walkie talkie up to his ear but just quickly packed his things away and slunk out of the restaurant.

Mitt Romney wants your Babies for a Secret Republican Army

Lately I've been up and down and just generally a loon though that's not too different than how things regularly are. Ive lost a mediocre amount of weight, though I'm still trying to find a diet that works right for me, i tried vegetarian and was not a fan but can seemingly tolerate small amounts of meat and will be happy with more "vegetables" loll. 

 
    Sometimes I wish I could rent out my brain so people could feel and hear and see whats going on in there, I can never accurately describe it without sounding completely mental which in this great big world of awesomeness I could potentially be completely mental without actually knowing I'm completely mental ya know what I mean?
 
Ive come to realize that everyones a little broken and sometimes the most broken are the most put together on the outside or so it seems. Words,words,words. typety,type,type,type. Sorry just making sure you were still reading.

 I really try to post things that mean something or that help others, if I truly wrote what went through my mind Im pretty sure id be locked up in a nice padded room lol but heres a glimpse. Sometimes when I get in a funk I have what I call "On the Edge moments" Where I lose all sense of myself and every molecule that was me is gone, the only thing remaining is every horrible thing I've ever called myself or been called along with every horrible emotion that was felt with what was said, washing over me wave after wave "you're not good enough" "you are shit" "you don't deserve to live" over and over till I'm drowning in it and theres nothing and nobody that can stop you and then at some point it stops and the "normal" feeling begins to return but the nagging feeling of when is that sickening roller coaster gonna come back and will I be able to stop it next time, will I be able to ride the waves until they simmer down for a time or will I let myself get lost, drown in it and never return?

 Well hopefully that wasn't too much of a negative nancy spiel for ya, I know Y'all were hoping for more boobies but sadly only a few adorable pics of myself wearing clothing….meh

                   Oh and a picture of my dinner the other night and my adorable kitty

                                                             My dinner. Yum!

                                                             Pretty Kitty

As always if anyone wants to vent, talk about our feelings or whatever feel free to email if you aren't a complete psycho ill give ya my number to text for an even faster reply ha Email: nt68863@yahoo.com

Santa Breastfed My Baby

There seems to be a lot of talk about nipples lately, how it's OK for men to show them in public, in pictures basically whenever they want but woman can't have them titties free flying whenever they want. It's wrong to show off your nip nips, I say it's not! If a man were to post the exact same picture his would be acceptable but a woman posts the same picture and its immediately removed and hidden,
 I'm not sure what's so offensive about a females body but I don't see how anyone could feel that nipples/breasts are so offensive so here's my big fat titties giving the world a middle finger. Also I'm very self conscious of my body in general so for me to post this and talk about this issue should mean something. It's time to change society not yourself. I'm sure ill get some mixed reviews on the subject but this is a topic I feel very strongly about, woman have fought so long for equality and we've gotten it somewhat isn't it time our breasts got some equality too? I'm not saying run out into the street and take your shirt off, but I think this is a small start to getting society to change and accept the fact that its just a chest/breast 

Flood the Internet with your booby pics ladies, get society to change for you, you deserve the same rights as men when it comes to your chest. As always if anyone feels like talking or needs someone to listen though I haven't posted much lately I'm still here email: nt68863@yahoo.com

I'm Not Coming to Your Wedding Unless There's Cake

My weight loss check in post I suppose, Since I fell off the wagon gained back what I had previously lost and then some I've now begun again in the last month. So far 13 pounds down, I exercise daily and my stamina is building. I'm tired all the time but I know with more time it will get easier.

Back to eating better hoping to stay on the wagon this time but will forgive myself if I happen to fall off again, no goals set in place and that's how I like it. Taking it day by day seems to work. I did get a dress one size smaller that I usually wear and it fits but not quite a few more weeks and I'll be there….. I think.

So far, though the urge has been strong there has been no self harm either, though I have come very,very close I've resisted and am proud of myself for it.

Other than that everything is seeming to be holding strong. Anxiety is still a big issue but that is also being taken day by day.

Now I think since I've put up including this post three tonight its time for me to get to bed. Hang in there to anyone struggling, it may not always get better but sometimes it gets less crappy than it is now.

I am Me, You are You. Wanna Ride on My Handlebars?

I Recently made the decision to shave my head and its amazing the release I've felt since then, I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. Lots of people don't like it but more people have really loved it and Recently I've started using the hash tag #beunique when i post a pic of myself, I see lots of pics attached to it already but I decided to do something fun with it hopefully it will catch on. 

 So here goes. Post a photo of the real you, Something you wouldn't normally post but you're posting it because you wanna say Fuck you to the world and let your freak flag fly and stop hiding who you are because of what others might think. Be open, Be honest, Be the bad ass that you know is inside no matter how small it might be. It can be anything, a picture you might have been ashamed to post or maybe you want to tell your story or just get something off your chest or even just say one thing nobody knows about you, there are no rules really and then tag me on instagram @pacemaker_girl89 using the hash tag #beunique twice a month I'll choose a photo and give a shout out and a unique prize related to your photo and you. 

Now get out there you crazy kids and be unique, stand out, Make the world look at you and go WOW! and don't even care what kinda wow it is. 

and here's a cute pic of my horsey she's unique in so many ways