Gym days, Tattoos and Food coma's

For the past three days I've been going to the gym and "working out" basically I'm just fast walking on a treadmill for 45 minutes which for me is hard as the thought of even getting off the couch which also happens to be my bed makes me tired. So far I'm not dead at least I don't think I am, and while I don't have an ultimate goal to get to like a specific weight I want to be or what size clothes I would like to fit into the basic plan is to work out, eat less and also eat things that I've never even looked at twice. Ya know that healthy stuff and go back to the Dr next month to see how things are going.

I used to try and make myself believe that I liked the way I looked or that I was happy being fat. This was when I was about 35-40 pounds lighter too and I just kept eating and saying I was OK with it,and that I was happy when in all reality I hated myself.I was depressed a lot of the time and I took to self injury something I had done on and off since I was about 14 as an escape and also I think so people would look at the cuts and scars and not at how large I had become for the most-part I'm a pretty happy upbeat person, I can make a joke about anything and that's what I was to myself a joke, and I was hiding behind my ability to laugh it off, and now that we are being completely honest I can admit that I wasn't happy, it was just a front and a way for me to rebel against what others were saying. Now when  I cant even walk more than 15 minutes without getting winded and the fact that I have to buy clothes that have no shape and when I look in the mirror and go "ugh gross who is that person?" is when I decided I wanted to change, also the fact that I would love to add more tattoos to my body and I surely don't want the poor tattoo artist to have to lift my fat rolls in order to tattoo me. I want to look at myself and like what I see and not hide it under a baggy shirt or shapeless pants, I will still be me just a healthier me and a me that can actually fit through small spaces, I mean what if I'm ever in a Turkish prison and have to grease my body up and escape through the sewers? I know not likely but it would be nice to be able to fit down the pipe if such a thing were to ever happen. I would like to see my feet again, its been awhile and I miss them. 
  
In the past whenever things got tough or I was bored or bummed out I would turn to food or cutting. Now after not cutting for quite some time, I was still turning to food for comfort and eating till I fell into little food comas and while on this new journey I can still turn to food for comfort just not bags of chips or donuts, I can quietly cry while stuffing apple slices into my mouth or strawberries, I'm slowly starting to realize that things don't have to be like this and if I stick to the plan and don't deviate things will be alright and I will still be awesome just not a giant blimp of a person.